You...

You've always come to my rescue. But are you truly a hero?

You've always loved me. But are you truly my lover?

Can I trust the words?

Can I deny my feelings?

Should I run this time?

…to get you out of my mind?

Will I be out of your reach?

…or will my heart you, again, find?

You’ve always been there, waiting in another man’s shadow

Watching me, teaching me, letting me grow

Maybe it’s all fake

…an elaborate pretense

…this guard, this wall, this fence.

You’ve always been there; I don’t want to admit it.

Despite the craziness and lack of sense of it

You’ve always been there….

He Likes Me But What About My Feet

Song of the day: Take Me As I Am by Mary J Blige

Okay, so I went out on my first date a few weeks ago after breaking up with my ex-fiance. The guy was kind of cute, but shorter than I normally date, but I'm trying to date out of my comfort zone. His cute smile and baritone voice were instant turn-ons.

Date night came and he passed the list with flying colors (or so I thought):
Dressed nice - check
Smelled good - check
Picked a good movie - check
Treated me to my favorite restaurant - check
Hug at end of the date - check
Phone call once he made it home - check

Conversation leads to him asking me why I wore boots instead of open toes shoes on our date because he wanted to see my feet--pause.

He confessed that he had a foot fetish and loved pretty feet. He wanted me to snap a picture of my feet and text it to him.

Now my feet look okay. They are not crow feet but it made me ask myself, would my feet meet the standard of a dude with a foot fetish? I'm not putting myself through the agony of wondering so I introduced him to the dial tone.

Was I wrong? Maybe. A foot model I'll never be, but my feet look just fine to me.

Confession #18 - Men with fetishes turn me off.

Single Again & Drama Free

I'm back. Single Again. Will be posting more later.

Confession #17 - I'm single again because the guy I was with started lying and his stories just wasn't adding up. I removed myself from the drama.

Shallow Gal or Is She

Song of the day: You Look Good to Me by Cherelle

Sometimes me and my friends talk about how shallow some men seem to be; but in reality, we can be just as shallow. One friend, who will remain anonymous, said recently that we would probably never meet the guy she's dating because he's hard on the eyes. I was like, "Girl, that's so mean." She explained that he was good to her, but she couldn't allow herself to get physical with him because he was not attractive to her at all. My first question to her was--why did you start dating him then? Now poor dude is fascinated with my friend and yes, she'll probably break his heart after he spends more of his money on her. Is she wrong? Yes, because she shouldn't use him like that.

I've given guys my number that I wasn't really attracted to at first, but after getting to know them, I enjoyed their company. I rarely bring guys around my friends or family anyway, unless we're in a committed relationship--i.e., I think I'm in love, so them not looking like a GQ model has never phased me. But if I were to be honest, I have to admit, after an ugly dude (or two) tried to play me, I now only date men I find somewhat attractive. Of course there has to be other things besides his looks, but --well I'm just saying. It doesn't make me shallow--just being real.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the total package. Besides, what looks good to me, might not look good to you--so what if I have my preferences; so do you.

Are we too judgmental when it comes to looks?

Confession #16 - There does have to be something attractive about the guy; whether it be his entire package; his eyes, body, smile, or face.

Dating Don'ts

Song of the day: Eve (featuring Alicia Keys) - Gangsta Lovin'

Dating can be fun and when you meet a person you're really interested in, you really want things to go perfect. Here are a few dating don'ts:

• Don't talk about your Ex. Unless, the other person asks you about your ex, do not spend the entire date talking about problems you and your ex encountered. I have a friend who will remain anonymous who complained about the guy talking about a woman he once dated that lived in Europe the entire time they sat around the dinner table.
• Don't do all of the talking. How many times have you been out with someone and they go on and on about themselves and never let you get a word in edge wise. Give the other person time to talk. Listening is just as important as talking.
  
• Ladies, don't pay for the first date. I know we're in a new dating age, but if a man is interested in you, he will part with his hard earned money.
  
• Don't give it up too soon. I say this because good sex can cloud your judgment. You might think he's the best thing since sliced bread, but he's really not. You're only thinking he is because he knows how to hit your g-spot.
• Don't start something, you're not willing to put up with later. That means no faking. No pretending like you like something just to get the person and then do a 360 once you're in a relationship. To thine self be true always. Don't settle for something that you know you don't like because if you do, you'll find yourself caught up in a relationship, you really don't want.
  

What are some of your dating don'ts?

Confession #15: I'm guilty of talking about my last Ex one time too many--which prompted me to write the dating don'ts.

Let's Talk About Pep Season Finale

About Episode 8 (Season Finale):
Pep decides to take a major step with Tom-is this thing turning serious? Joumana's been disappointed by bad boys, now she's wondering: Has the right good guy been there all along? Markuann tries a change of tactics in pursuit of Kittie-will he find success trading in sexy-funny for lovey-dovey?


My Take:
First things first. I hate the show has come to an end. What's a single girl to do on a Monday night? Hmm. Maybe go out on a date of her own :)

You know I've been cheering for Tom every since they introduced him an one of the episodes. I'm so glad that Tom and Pep took the next step. Ooh, I rhymed. LOL Joumana might not be looking for something serious, but looks like something serious has found her. And what can I say, "Mr. Toe sucker" not only surprised Kittie, with his revelation, he surprised me too. Well, she could do worse. Just make sure her friends keep their shoes on, and she'll be alright. LOL

Overall, I enjoyed watching the whole show. I wasn't aware the show would end so soon. For season 2, if there is a season 2, they should expand it to an entire hour.

Hope you enjoyed my commentaries over the season of the show. I hope this won't be your last time stopping by the site.

So come on, did you see the finale? Let's talk about Pep.

No scrubs need apply

(Photo--I don't want no scrub, but sure could use a good doctor...smile)

Song of the day: No Scrubs by T.L.C.

Remember the group TLC as they blurted out the lyrics - “I don’t want no scrub…a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”

That song came out years ago but for some reason I thought about it last night as I was reading a couple of blogs.

Some folks will try to make you feel bad because you hold men accountable for their actions. I think if we’re being real with each other from the beginning it will save heartache and headache for both parties.

A wise person once told me to only settle for what you think you deserve. Why shouldn’t that apply to all areas of your life? Why did it take me getting in my 30s before I actually realized what they meant?

As I look at some of my past associations with the opposite sex I have to admit that I’ve ran across a few scrubs myself. I thought I could clean them up and make them be more than they were. So I settled, although in my mind I thought I wasn’t. One bad relationship made me realize the errors of my ways and as one of my friends would say - I saw the light. Once the light shined, I vowed not to return down that type of path again. However, it still hasn’t stopped some scrubs crossing my path–I just know how to recognize them and no longer give them my time.

Pearls of Wisdom: You can’t change a grown man. Oh, it may seem like he changed but it’s temporary and overtime, the “real” man will return.

Another Pearl of Wisdom: You Can’t Turn a Scrub into a Boyfriend. If you do, you’ll have a huge mess to clean up afterwards–whether it be your heart, your spirit and if he’s a leech, your finances too.

Don’t fall for the line most scrubs like to use - “Black women don’t support their Black men.” That’s bull. They know it and we should know it. I don’t know a Black woman who hasn’t supported Black men (even when they didn’t believe in themselves, we’ve been there). Don’t let guilt corner you into giving a scrub a try.

Confession #14: This is a scrubs-free zone.I know that there are good men out there that have the qualities that are compatible with me.