He Likes Me But What About My Feet

Song of the day: Take Me As I Am by Mary J Blige

Okay, so I went out on my first date a few weeks ago after breaking up with my ex-fiance. The guy was kind of cute, but shorter than I normally date, but I'm trying to date out of my comfort zone. His cute smile and baritone voice were instant turn-ons.

Date night came and he passed the list with flying colors (or so I thought):
Dressed nice - check
Smelled good - check
Picked a good movie - check
Treated me to my favorite restaurant - check
Hug at end of the date - check
Phone call once he made it home - check

Conversation leads to him asking me why I wore boots instead of open toes shoes on our date because he wanted to see my feet--pause.

He confessed that he had a foot fetish and loved pretty feet. He wanted me to snap a picture of my feet and text it to him.

Now my feet look okay. They are not crow feet but it made me ask myself, would my feet meet the standard of a dude with a foot fetish? I'm not putting myself through the agony of wondering so I introduced him to the dial tone.

Was I wrong? Maybe. A foot model I'll never be, but my feet look just fine to me.

Confession #18 - Men with fetishes turn me off.

Shallow Gal or Is She

Song of the day: You Look Good to Me by Cherelle

Sometimes me and my friends talk about how shallow some men seem to be; but in reality, we can be just as shallow. One friend, who will remain anonymous, said recently that we would probably never meet the guy she's dating because he's hard on the eyes. I was like, "Girl, that's so mean." She explained that he was good to her, but she couldn't allow herself to get physical with him because he was not attractive to her at all. My first question to her was--why did you start dating him then? Now poor dude is fascinated with my friend and yes, she'll probably break his heart after he spends more of his money on her. Is she wrong? Yes, because she shouldn't use him like that.

I've given guys my number that I wasn't really attracted to at first, but after getting to know them, I enjoyed their company. I rarely bring guys around my friends or family anyway, unless we're in a committed relationship--i.e., I think I'm in love, so them not looking like a GQ model has never phased me. But if I were to be honest, I have to admit, after an ugly dude (or two) tried to play me, I now only date men I find somewhat attractive. Of course there has to be other things besides his looks, but --well I'm just saying. It doesn't make me shallow--just being real.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the total package. Besides, what looks good to me, might not look good to you--so what if I have my preferences; so do you.

Are we too judgmental when it comes to looks?

Confession #16 - There does have to be something attractive about the guy; whether it be his entire package; his eyes, body, smile, or face.

Dating Don'ts

Song of the day: Eve (featuring Alicia Keys) - Gangsta Lovin'

Dating can be fun and when you meet a person you're really interested in, you really want things to go perfect. Here are a few dating don'ts:

• Don't talk about your Ex. Unless, the other person asks you about your ex, do not spend the entire date talking about problems you and your ex encountered. I have a friend who will remain anonymous who complained about the guy talking about a woman he once dated that lived in Europe the entire time they sat around the dinner table.
• Don't do all of the talking. How many times have you been out with someone and they go on and on about themselves and never let you get a word in edge wise. Give the other person time to talk. Listening is just as important as talking.
  
• Ladies, don't pay for the first date. I know we're in a new dating age, but if a man is interested in you, he will part with his hard earned money.
  
• Don't give it up too soon. I say this because good sex can cloud your judgment. You might think he's the best thing since sliced bread, but he's really not. You're only thinking he is because he knows how to hit your g-spot.
• Don't start something, you're not willing to put up with later. That means no faking. No pretending like you like something just to get the person and then do a 360 once you're in a relationship. To thine self be true always. Don't settle for something that you know you don't like because if you do, you'll find yourself caught up in a relationship, you really don't want.
  

What are some of your dating don'ts?

Confession #15: I'm guilty of talking about my last Ex one time too many--which prompted me to write the dating don'ts.

Dating Applications Should Be Required

Song of the day: I'm Looking For a New Love by Jody Watley

What if we treated dating like we do a job or an interview. Companies pre-screen applicants before deciding to give them an interview. Why don't we pre-screen guys more before deciding to give them our hearts? For example:

1. Applicants fill out applications (ask potential date questions).
2. Applicant gets an interview (go out on date to learn even more).
3. Interviewer takes notes (evaluates all information & decide if you want to continue dating).
   
4. Interviewer does a background check (background check could be asking friends/relatives/or official criminal background check)
   

Below is a dating application I ran across on Black Femme Fatale's blog. Loved it and thought I would share it with you.

In compliance with applicable laws, this woman typically does not discriminate because of age, sex, race, color, religion, national origin, veteran status or disability. But because I am a woman, I can do whatever the hell I wanna do.

Instructions: Please print. Be sure to answer all questions. If a question does not apply to you, answer with “no” or “not applicable”. Do not substitute any bullshit for the information requested. Please attach 3 references. Do not use family members, homeboys or cut buddies that you claim you are just friends with. We would prefer if you use past girlfriends, coworkers, or someone that really does not give a flip about this one way or the other and will not lie for you.

Note: I do offer the opportunity for advancement. Upon outstanding behavior, you may be promoted to boyfriend, fiancé, or even husband if you are lucky.

PERSONAL INFORMATION

Last name First Middle						Social Security Number
Present Address (please attach a current bill for verification. Photocopies not accepted)							How long?
City State Zip							Verified? Yes No
Telephone Number and area code Home ( ) Work ( )					Person to notify in case I have to cut you Name Phone ( )
Position Desired					Hours available
Gainfully employed? Yes No		If yes, where? If no, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Adequate transportation? Yes No				If no, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Currently holding another position as Winter Boo? Yes No	If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Have been properly screened for STD’s? Yes No	Dates and what medical facility? Also, please provide proof.
Ever engaged in any intimate activity with a male that should be strictly between a male and female? Yes No	If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.
Married? Yes No	If yes, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed. Just so you know, your wife will be contacted at the phone number or address you have listed above. Sorry bastard!!
Baby Mama Drama? Yes No	If yes, please explain
Bad Credit? Yes No	If yes, please explain
Have you ever been convicted of a felony? Yes No	If yes, please explain (anything other than possession of marijuana or 1 DUI, Kick Rocks and your application will be permanently destroyed.)
Have you ever been terminated from or asked to resign from a previous Winter Boo position? Yes No			If yes, Please explain
Check anything that applies God fearing Respectable Believes chivalry is dead can handle minor housekeeping duties phone rings all time of night lies uncontrollably effective listener goal oriented handsome nice dresser can pick up the tab without having to file bankruptcy don’t have a girlfriend good with my hands trustworthy kind loving willing to slide a sister some change to help her out if need be

EDUCATION

Education	Name and location of institution	Grade Average	Did you Graduate?	If you graduated, what was your Degree and major
High school and/or G.E.D.			Yes No
College			Yes No
College			Yes No
Graduate School			Yes No
Other institutions attended			Yes No

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

Use this space to list any reasons why you, above all others, should be selected as Winter Boo.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

APPLICANT’S STATEMENT

I certify that the information contained in this application is correct and understand that falsification of this information is grounds for dismissal. I authorize this woman to conduct an investigation of my background for the purpose of confirming the information contained on my application and/or obtaining other information which may be material to my qualifications for Winter Boo. I authorize any individuals or entities contacted during this investigation to give you any and all pertinent information they may have, personal or otherwise, and release all parties from any and all liabilities, claims or law suits in regard to the information obtained.

I certify that I have read, understand and agree with the above.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Applicant’s Signature Date

CONFESSION #10 - Just because I don't acknowledge I know you're lying about something; doesn't mean you have me fooled.

No I'm not coming over

Song for the day - Can I Come Over by Aaliyah

Okay, what is it about guys who you've only known a hot minute wanting you to come to their house?

Last week, after a few phone conversations and text messages, I went out on a lunch date with this guy. Conversation was good--company was good. Thought all was well. Fast forward to later on that evening when I get a call asking me if I was available. I'm a "weekend girl" but because I know the guy has his daughter on the weekend, I was willing to bend a little, but when he asked me if I could come over that same night and I said, no; ol' boy had a slight attitude.

#1 I don't know you well enough to be coming over to your place.
#2 I just saw you at lunch time; you should have asked me if I was available later then.
#3 He asked the wrong question--maybe if he would have asked me out on a real date, I may have obliged.
#4 I have many movie channels and the internet. I can watch a movie at home. Why do I need to leave my warm house and get in a cold car to go to someone else's house to watch a movie that I probably don't want to see anyway?
#5 I don't do booty calls, so me coming over was mute if that was his original plan.

Funny thing is, when I said no, it's like he went from being a man to throwing a temper tantrum. What's up with that? His tantrum basically wiped out my memory of the nice lunch and vibe I got from him during lunch time.

Confession #9 - Getting me to your place does not mean I'm giving up the booty. P.S. - Throwing a tantrum just because I won't bend to your schedule throws you out of the running.

The interlude after

Song for the day - Let's Talk About Sex - Salt N Pepa

What happens when sex is just ‘sex’ and the man doesn’t get the hint?

I’m not the type who usually prefers booty calls or a sexual rendezvous but there are times that one may be necessary. Tonight, as I am suffering from acute insomnia, I wrote a piece about a young woman who feels her sex guy isn’t taking her hints about the booty call rules—hit it and quit it. This particular man must be smitten because he is still there. Enjoy

daybreak in transit: The interlude after

by Persia Ellis

His touch is repulsive, now that I have reached my orgasm. Dramatically and intently, my eyelids flutter and flirt with closing artificially and succeed at portraying the yearning of having my own space returned to me. Without him. Here.

The fallacy of sleep should work. Usually, it does so why does he stay?

He is still here.

Our ingenuous love session, so anonymous, spontaneous and lyrical, has expired yet he remains in the presence of what originally made it special. He can ruin its essence—the moment.

That moment before daybreak when our natural melodies intertwined a passionate hymn that morphed into beautiful mutual climaxes. It has made me happy and him, as well.

The clock says 4:38 a.m. Nothing more is needed to be expressed. Why does he feel the need to invade my liberty? My space. My bed.

Just a few sultry moments ago, those same naked toned arms and coy smile were devouring to my own soul.. but Now, they are just.. just sadly, in the way. In my way.

Is he mad? Or maybe he is in love with what he cannot tame.

Maybe my snoring would drive him away. Then, again, I did put it on him.

So, most certainly, he will be here in the morning…

In the kitchen…

Making my breakfast….. lunch….then dinner.

Confession #6 - Just because we let you hit it, doesn't mean we want you to stay.

Bug a Boo

Song for the day - Destiny's Child - Bug a Boo

Have you ever given your number to a guy and later regretted that you did because now he's becoming a Bug a Boo?

I tried being polite to this guy because I really don't like hurting folks feelings but he pushed me to the limits so I came straight out and told him to stop calling me. One thing about a Bug A Boo, they don't take hints well.

The first clue that a woman don't want to be bothered is after the 2nd message, she hasn't returned your call. (Translation: Yes, you have the right number, but I clearly don't want to talk to your a**.)

Another clue is after the 2nd text message, she hasn't replied. (Translation: If I didn't respond to the first text message asking me why I haven't returned your call, what makes you think I will respond to the 2nd one???)

The number way to know if you're a Bug a Boo is if the woman flats out tells you to stop calling but you still do.

Calling will not change a person's mind. All it will do is put you on the STALKER list.

Confession #3 - I return phone calls; however if I'm not interested in future communications with the person, I don't. That goes for men I'm not interested in, bill collectors, nosy neighbors, etc.