Single Again & Drama Free

I'm back. Single Again. Will be posting more later.

Confession #17 - I'm single again because the guy I was with started lying and his stories just wasn't adding up. I removed myself from the drama.

Shallow Gal or Is She

Song of the day: You Look Good to Me by Cherelle

Sometimes me and my friends talk about how shallow some men seem to be; but in reality, we can be just as shallow. One friend, who will remain anonymous, said recently that we would probably never meet the guy she's dating because he's hard on the eyes. I was like, "Girl, that's so mean." She explained that he was good to her, but she couldn't allow herself to get physical with him because he was not attractive to her at all. My first question to her was--why did you start dating him then? Now poor dude is fascinated with my friend and yes, she'll probably break his heart after he spends more of his money on her. Is she wrong? Yes, because she shouldn't use him like that.

I've given guys my number that I wasn't really attracted to at first, but after getting to know them, I enjoyed their company. I rarely bring guys around my friends or family anyway, unless we're in a committed relationship--i.e., I think I'm in love, so them not looking like a GQ model has never phased me. But if I were to be honest, I have to admit, after an ugly dude (or two) tried to play me, I now only date men I find somewhat attractive. Of course there has to be other things besides his looks, but --well I'm just saying. It doesn't make me shallow--just being real.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the total package. Besides, what looks good to me, might not look good to you--so what if I have my preferences; so do you.

Are we too judgmental when it comes to looks?

Confession #16 - There does have to be something attractive about the guy; whether it be his entire package; his eyes, body, smile, or face.

Dating Don'ts

Song of the day: Eve (featuring Alicia Keys) - Gangsta Lovin'

Dating can be fun and when you meet a person you're really interested in, you really want things to go perfect. Here are a few dating don'ts:

• Don't talk about your Ex. Unless, the other person asks you about your ex, do not spend the entire date talking about problems you and your ex encountered. I have a friend who will remain anonymous who complained about the guy talking about a woman he once dated that lived in Europe the entire time they sat around the dinner table.
• Don't do all of the talking. How many times have you been out with someone and they go on and on about themselves and never let you get a word in edge wise. Give the other person time to talk. Listening is just as important as talking.
  
• Ladies, don't pay for the first date. I know we're in a new dating age, but if a man is interested in you, he will part with his hard earned money.
  
• Don't give it up too soon. I say this because good sex can cloud your judgment. You might think he's the best thing since sliced bread, but he's really not. You're only thinking he is because he knows how to hit your g-spot.
• Don't start something, you're not willing to put up with later. That means no faking. No pretending like you like something just to get the person and then do a 360 once you're in a relationship. To thine self be true always. Don't settle for something that you know you don't like because if you do, you'll find yourself caught up in a relationship, you really don't want.
  

What are some of your dating don'ts?

Confession #15: I'm guilty of talking about my last Ex one time too many--which prompted me to write the dating don'ts.

Let's Talk About Pep Season Finale

About Episode 8 (Season Finale):
Pep decides to take a major step with Tom-is this thing turning serious? Joumana's been disappointed by bad boys, now she's wondering: Has the right good guy been there all along? Markuann tries a change of tactics in pursuit of Kittie-will he find success trading in sexy-funny for lovey-dovey?


My Take:
First things first. I hate the show has come to an end. What's a single girl to do on a Monday night? Hmm. Maybe go out on a date of her own :)

You know I've been cheering for Tom every since they introduced him an one of the episodes. I'm so glad that Tom and Pep took the next step. Ooh, I rhymed. LOL Joumana might not be looking for something serious, but looks like something serious has found her. And what can I say, "Mr. Toe sucker" not only surprised Kittie, with his revelation, he surprised me too. Well, she could do worse. Just make sure her friends keep their shoes on, and she'll be alright. LOL

Overall, I enjoyed watching the whole show. I wasn't aware the show would end so soon. For season 2, if there is a season 2, they should expand it to an entire hour.

Hope you enjoyed my commentaries over the season of the show. I hope this won't be your last time stopping by the site.

So come on, did you see the finale? Let's talk about Pep.

No scrubs need apply

(Photo--I don't want no scrub, but sure could use a good doctor...smile)

Song of the day: No Scrubs by T.L.C.

Remember the group TLC as they blurted out the lyrics - “I don’t want no scrub…a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”

That song came out years ago but for some reason I thought about it last night as I was reading a couple of blogs.

Some folks will try to make you feel bad because you hold men accountable for their actions. I think if we’re being real with each other from the beginning it will save heartache and headache for both parties.

A wise person once told me to only settle for what you think you deserve. Why shouldn’t that apply to all areas of your life? Why did it take me getting in my 30s before I actually realized what they meant?

As I look at some of my past associations with the opposite sex I have to admit that I’ve ran across a few scrubs myself. I thought I could clean them up and make them be more than they were. So I settled, although in my mind I thought I wasn’t. One bad relationship made me realize the errors of my ways and as one of my friends would say - I saw the light. Once the light shined, I vowed not to return down that type of path again. However, it still hasn’t stopped some scrubs crossing my path–I just know how to recognize them and no longer give them my time.

Pearls of Wisdom: You can’t change a grown man. Oh, it may seem like he changed but it’s temporary and overtime, the “real” man will return.

Another Pearl of Wisdom: You Can’t Turn a Scrub into a Boyfriend. If you do, you’ll have a huge mess to clean up afterwards–whether it be your heart, your spirit and if he’s a leech, your finances too.

Don’t fall for the line most scrubs like to use - “Black women don’t support their Black men.” That’s bull. They know it and we should know it. I don’t know a Black woman who hasn’t supported Black men (even when they didn’t believe in themselves, we’ve been there). Don’t let guilt corner you into giving a scrub a try.

Confession #14: This is a scrubs-free zone.I know that there are good men out there that have the qualities that are compatible with me.

Let's Talk About Pep Episode 7

About Episode 7:
Pep takes some time off from Tom to see if another man can make her sweat. Jacque discovers some disturbing info when she cyber-stalks Joel. Kittie finds that there's only room for one big mouth in her house.

My Take:

I'm glad Jacque asked Joel some probing questions. He tripped me out when he said, "I'll keep it real with you, if you keep it real with me." I think he was on the defensive because he's too busy trying to be a player. I have to admit, I was feeling Joel the first time, but now I don't think he's a good choice for Jacque. He's trying to play games. If you're not doing anything, why does it matter that she's looking at your Facebook page? And dude straight up lied about sending out a tweet on Twitter (see the bonus clip).

I thought it was funny that Jacque set Steve up with Kittie. Their date was hilarious. Steve was outrageous. Kittie definitely met her match in him. I knew it wouldn't work with those two but they were great to watch.

All I can say is Sid is like a box of chocolate--you can't help but want to touch him. I don't blame Pep for reaching out and touching those rippling muscles. I still like Tom, but I can understand Pep. Her and Tom aren't in a committed relationship so she's free to date whoever she wants. Back to that tall walk of temptation--Sid would be hard to resist. He would probably make a great boy toy but I'm still leaning towards Tom.

Do you check the Facebook & Twitter page of those you date? Let's talk about Pep.

When the ex still calls

Song of the day: When A Woman's Fed Up by R Kelly

I'm not going to front, I'm thrilled that he called. Why? It only validates what I said when we parted--that the grass ain't greener on the other side and he'll be crawling back with his head between his legs begging for my brown sugar.

Honestly, it happened sooner than I expected though. Caught me by surprise; but not so much that I wanted to take his trifling behind back though.He's been trying to get back for at least a month now.

I would be lying if I said, I didn't think about it for a second. Yes, a second, because on the second SECOND, my memory remembered how everything went down. It recalled why he was now an ex.

I'm at peace. I can't go back to what we were. I've changed since we broke up. That woman he knew, will never be again. My love now has conditions.

• He should have stayed when I gave him unconditional love.
  
• He should have thought about the things he's now saying before he became an ex.
• He should have been thinking about me every day when he was with me.
• He should have lived the truth instead of telling lies when we were together.

My male friends tell me to not even accept his calls anymore. His calls don't bother me. They bother him. Why? Because I don't ever respond the way he wants me to respond. I never give him the "okay" that he's welcome to be an important part of my life again. It frustrates him and honestly, I find it funny at this point. Call me cruel, but I'm not. Call me being a biatch, but I'm not. I'm just saying. He should have listened to the words of the song, "When a Woman's Fed Up..." because at this point, there's nothing he can do about it. I've moved on. I'm living my life like it's golden.

Confession #13: An ex calling and wanting to get back with me does boost the ego; but it doesn't mean I want to get back with him.