Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Make a move or be left behind

Young woman talking on a mobile phone with a Young man sitting behind her with a laptop
Song for the day - Always on Time - Ashanti & JaRule

by Chelle

Men need to realize that no matter how long a woman has been alone, saying, “OH she's been alone for 6 months, 10 months, 3 years she’s okay waiting for X amount of time longer for me…” is a mistake.

Her being alone has been her OWN business. There has been a reason she’s been alone, one that has nothing to do with you. If she’s finally healed enough to be with you that means she’s ready to open up again—that she’s healed and ready to move on in life.

This ALONE period was not some PRACTICE for more alone time.

Men, you need to QUIT thinking that dragging her heart out to the limit is OKAY.

Men PLEASE when a woman who has been alone gets tired of being ALONE…when the light comes on… if she’s who you want, or who you even THINK you want… you besta be THERE with her--in some way or at least let her know it... beyond just empty BS words or wilted flowers or some SECOND choice actions...

GET THERE for real ....or get left.

When the light inside a woman comes on, there is a glow that other men see (you know that)... and soon one will come along with all you offer and more... and the more will be... THEMSELVES.... they will BE THERE.. in more than just words and WEAK promises and or offers of sex or some other weak and limited temporary 'present' or condescending gesture on your part!!!

We are not PITY PARTIES...

AND SOON, a man WILL BE THERE TO DELIVER the love and the touch and the... ugh the internal fulfillment we need.

Confession #12: I'm single by my own choosing so don't act like you are my only choice. Don't get left behind.


Anonymous said...

yeah I hate those questions, when was the last time you were in a relationship.... what they are really asking-- maybe-- when was the last time you've had sex... or if she's been single so long - what's wrong with her or maybe she's desperate so easy pickings. no way - nada- i don't think so...

Shelia said...

Chelle, I see where you're going with this post. Sometimes a man will think you're going to "wait" on them to make up their minds while they continue to do whatever they want to do. What they don't realize is that if you do decide to wait, you're waiting by choice--not because they are the only option.

A male friend once told me, he knew immediately that the woman he married was the one for him. He didn't take her through all those changes some men like to take women through.

Anonymous--yes, that's one of those trick questions.

Sweet Tea said...

I agree with you Shelia. Too often men don't realize that a woman chooses to wait for them to get their ish together and step up. But we will only wait but so long. And the game playing and beating around the bush soon becomes old. Especially when accompanied with superficial, cliched words and gestures.

Personally, i enjoy being single. it's fun and the stress is definitely diminished. But when I decide to make the necessary compromises and sacrifices to be in a relationship I want the man in my life to be ready for me. Stop hedging and just step up.

Dash said...

*APPLAUSE* Thank you! Enough is enough. "Why are you single?" The question is asked like singledom is a problem that needs to be solved. I am single because bozos like you can't cut it. Goodbye Sir. I spoke on it on my blog as well:

Cece Nichole said...

*two snaps and a twist* lol
I've been single for going on 2 years and i often get asked why. It's simply because I want to be. I've been through a lot in the last few years as far as relationships and I want to make sure that when i enter my next one i don't bring baggage in. However this has led one or two of my exes to think that I was awaiting their return and get a VERY rude awakening lol.

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