Wednesday, February 24, 2010

No scrubs need apply

Confident Surgeon (Photo--I don't want no scrub, but sure could use a good

Song of the day: No Scrubs by T.L.C.

Remember the group TLC as they blurted out the lyrics - “I don’t want no scrub…a scrub is a guy that can’t get no love from me.”

That song came out years ago but for some reason I thought about it last night as I was reading a couple of blogs.

Some folks will try to make you feel bad because you hold men accountable for their actions. I think if we’re being real with each other from the beginning it will save heartache and headache for both parties.

A wise person once told me to only settle for what you think you deserve. Why shouldn’t that apply to all areas of your life? Why did it take me getting in my 30s before I actually realized what they meant?

As I look at some of my past associations with the opposite sex I have to admit that I’ve ran across a few scrubs myself. I thought I could clean them up and make them be more than they were. So I settled, although in my mind I thought I wasn’t. One bad relationship made me realize the errors of my ways and as one of my friends would say - I saw the light. Once the light shined, I vowed not to return down that type of path again. However, it still hasn’t stopped some scrubs crossing my path–I just know how to recognize them and no longer give them my time.

Pearls of Wisdom: You can’t change a grown man. Oh, it may seem like he changed but it’s temporary and overtime, the “real” man will return.

Another Pearl of Wisdom: You Can’t Turn a Scrub into a Boyfriend. If you do, you’ll have a huge mess to clean up afterwards–whether it be your heart, your spirit and if he’s a leech, your finances too.

Don’t fall for the line most scrubs like to use - “Black women don’t support their Black men.” That’s bull. They know it and we should know it. I don’t know a Black woman who hasn’t supported Black men (even when they didn’t believe in themselves, we’ve been there). Don’t let guilt corner you into giving a scrub a try.

Confession #14: This is a scrubs-free zone.I know that there are good men out there that have the qualities that are compatible with me.


Dena said...

That song used to be the jam. When single, I tried to keep an open mind, but dating men without jobs played out too quick--they always expected you to pay their way and provide a roof over their head.

Trish said...

I got to your site off of VSB. I've met one too many scrubs in my lifetime. I stopped giving broke n**** a chance a long time ago.

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